A Sense of Purpose

In recent weeks, I spent some time contemplating whether writing Girl Eat was making the difference I wanted it to make.

I wondered if writing Girl Eat meant as much to me as I thought.

And then I went to a bridal shower.

Gifts galore, cupcakes you would dream of, and little tiny bride chocolates that would make even the sturdiest heart melt a little.

And, in the midst of all the happiness and joy, I sat down at a little table, coca cola in hand, to enjoy the afternoon and the irresistible chatter.

Until I heard this.

Yeah, my doctor says it’s safe. It’s a hormone that makes your body think it’s pregnant.

Really? My friend lost fifty pounds using that.

I hear though that you can only eat a few hundred calories a day.

And, if you don’t eat you gain weight anyways.

My doctor just put me on a drug and told me to eat better and exercise. The drug didnt do anything on its own so I stopped taking it.

I think the answer is just to cut out the carbs. I mean, I love the bread and pasta but seriously, they’re evil. Just evil. Especially on my butt.

Alright, now putting aside that when a girl reaches the ripe old age of ahem, thirty something, she has been to one too many shower. bridal showers. baby showers.

One too many weddings.

Perhaps, even, one too many bachelorette parties.

But, even still, really? Seriously? Despite my slight hesitation to partake in wedding charades, isn’t it absolutely appalling that a group of women cannot have a conversation at a bridal shower without at least one of them bringing up the subject of the latest fad diet? Or calories? Or restriction? Or diet drugs?

Can’t we all just talk about the things that truly matter? Can’t we talk about our bodies like we do machines, and let ourselves get healthier by realizing we have to fuel this machine, and enjoy ourselves a little along the way?

Why this?

Why the judgment?

Why the envy?

Why the intolerable discussion of plans that are unbelievably bad for you (regardless of what a doctor says-and I retain my right to this opinion)

Seriously?

I mean, seriously?

Come on, people. COME ON.

What have we done to ourselves? And, whatever it is, let’s stop. Because there are WAY more fun things to talk about at a bridal shower than the fact that you think your hips are too big, that you should take a drug that makes your body thinks it is pregnant to lose weight, or that eating no carbohydrates at all will make you thin (and really, really sad and sick).

I started to say something, but the words got stuck in my throat, and I realized. I cannot be the Debbie Downer at this party. They don’t want me here raining on their I hate fat parade. But, I also realized something else. In as much as Girl Eat reaches just one person, just one person who realizes that food is not evil, that diets do not work, and that listening to our bodies is the way to go (along with beauty comes in all sizes, and do not judge yourself so harshly), then it appears I have found my sense of purpose again.

Welcome back everyone.

And, while I am appalled at the discussions that went on at that bridal shower, let me say this. I thank the women who helped me realize how important Girl Eat truly is.

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8 thoughts on “A Sense of Purpose

  1. Great post! I totally agree that doctors really don’t always know what’s best. Once I was 10 pounds under my BMI and my doctor told me “You look good. Just don’t lose anymore weight.” Hardly the advice I needed. We do spend so much time worrying about our weights and physical appearance than enjoying life inside the bodies we inhabit. This needs to change. Thanks for your post!

    • Thank you! I am so glad you appreciated the post. That warms my heart and pushes me to keep writing Girl Eat! It is so true that other people’s opinions, sometimes even the “professionals”, can help perpetuate unhealthy body images. It is a shame too how little we actually believe that true health is the truest beauty.

  2. I haven’t checked in in a while, but I wanted to say keep writing! It is important to remind women that they are much more important than the number on the scale or in in their pants, and that beauty is a much more all-inclusive thing than what gets portrayed in the media.

    Some people don’t want to come to terms with the fact that weight loss requires grace, patience and work (like the folks you encountered at the shower), but when they’re ready to admit that to themselves, they’ll have your posts to read for inspiration. ; )

    • Thank you for this very sweet comment. You definitely inspire me to keep writing. It makes my heart happy every time my writing reaches someone, even one person.

      I feel strongly in the message so I will absolutely keep writing. Thank you for reading.

  3. I don’t think I’ve ever commented before, but I just wanted to let you know that Girl Eat is important to me, too. Sometimes, your posts are like that voice of rationality that silences the ED voices that occaisionally rear their ugly heads during this recovery process. Don’t go anywhere.

  4. I don’t think I have ever commented here before, but I just wanted to let you know that Girl Eat is important to me too. I read each and every word you write, and sometimes, your posts are like that voice of rationality that silences those ED voices that rear their ugly heads during this recovery process. Please, don’t go anywhere.

    • Dear Rachel,

      There is no way at all I could tell you, in words, how much your comment meant to me. You’ve definitely helped to restore my inspiration. Girl Eat is definitely here to stay, for a very, very long time. It means so much to me that my writing actually helps someone-a real, live person who gets something out of reading the words I write.

      Stay strong, and good luck on your journey.
      -Girl Eat

    • Dear Rachel,

      There is no way at all I could tell you, in words, how much your comment meant to me. You’ve definitely helped to restore my inspiration. Girl Eat is definitely here to stay, for a very, very long time. It means so much to me that my writing actually helps someone-a real, live person who gets something out of reading the words I write.

      Stay strong, and good luck on your journey.
      -Girl Eat

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